List: Thoughts.

1. I am such an asshole.
2. I am one dumb cookie.
3. I am worthless.
4. I look...igh.
5. I can write well.
6. I am interesting.
7. I am the most boring person you will ever meet.
8. I do think I know a lot.
9. I am nowhere near "Know-It-All" status.
10. I have a large vobabulary.
11. I am such a bitch.
12. I have schizoid personality disorder.
13. That or I suffer from a sever case of depression.
14. Nearly everything I say is bullshit.
15. I am weird.
16. I am everything.
17. I am nothing.
18. I am useless.
19. I have a vast potential.
20. I have no drive.
21. I never know what to say.
22. I hate talking about myself.
23. I love me.
24. I'm socially awkward.
25. I like nearly every guy I've ever met.
26. I usually don't like guys who openly like me.
27. I think it's because I prefer subtlety.
28. I'm a tease. Really.
29. I'll probably end up in abusive relationships.
30. I don't really want a boyfriend.
31. My body disagrees with me.
33. I wish I could be completely bisexual, or at least enough to get over the idea of engageing in a relationship with a girl.
34. I really like being hit on by girls.
35. I'm a pushover.
36. I will forgive you 99/100 times.
37. PDAs? Uh, no thanks.
38. I actually don't know if that's true.
39. I just hate how awkward situations get when I have PDAs.
40. It's because PDAs are out of character.
41. I'm a creep.
42. This is the longest list I've ever made.
43. I have no idea why I'm continuing this one.
44. I wish I could know everything.
45. I want for someone to tell me he/she likes me. Like, just walk up to me and say it.
46. I hate when people ask to do something to me, e.g. "Can I hug you?" Just freaking do it if you want it. I won't stop you.
47. Yeah, I realize that can be a bad thing in some situations.
48. I don't really care.
49. I love you. Frankly. I do. (This isn't directed at anyone in particular.)
50. Do you think I can make it to 100? I don't.
51. I wish I could be a pilot.
52. I wish I were taller.
53. I really am only attracted to white or light-skinned guys. :/
54. Yeah, that sounds racist. So what?
55. If you ask me a question, 7/10 chances I will answer honestly.
56. There will always be things I will keep to myself, but 7/10 is better than most people. I would hope anyway.
57. Yeah, I want you to like me.
58. If I like you, I will more than likely tell you.
59. Though whether I mean that in *that* way or not might not be so obvious.
60. I hate how lonely I feel when I'm in social situations.
61. I dislike not being normal most of the time.
62. I have problems. Real problems.
63. I don't think most things are trivial.
64. I just don't like talking about banal things.
65. I wonder when I'll stop.
66. I like when people read what I write.
67. It's the only way most people can get to know me.
68. I make sure it's that way for no real reason.
69. I am exactly shy, I just really don't ever know what to do.
70. I lack a strong sense of morality.
71. I'm horrible.
72. I really do just want to feel loved.
73. I really do just think that's impossible.
74. I really don't think people don't like me.
75. I just refuse to believe that they like me.
76. I fuck everything up, let's face it.
77. I wish people could be as forgiving as me.
78. I cry. A lot. At anything.
79. I can only cry for like a minute.
80. Beyond that it's practically physically impossible.
81. I have the line, "somethinnng, thingg, twisted transistor" stuck in my head.
82. I know it's from a song by Korn, but I've no idea what the name is.
83. I'm semi tired.
84. I feel guilty cos I told Chris I'd sleep early last night.
85. It's now 4:47 AM.
86. I'm done.
87. I feel awkward ending at this number.

Dash, dash, dash.

Hm. I dunno what to say. Should I say anything at all? Should I dare speak out? I dunno. I don't know anything, I suppose. I never have, and I never will for the simple reason that to know something is to recognize it as a static being. And we are not static beings.
We are ever changing.
Change is such a commonplace word, isn't it? It's all about change. Always. Oh, we want this to happen. Oh, let's change it. Let's stand up for ourselves. But is it really that we feel offended when someone opposes us, or do we really just want the credit? Nowadays, it seems particularly "cool" to speak your mind. It seems "cool" to be pro-gay, pro-choice, pro-human rights.
Not that I am against or promoting against these things. I am all of those things, I suppose. It just seems like EVERYONE is promoting those things just so they have something to say to other people when they meet over coffee.
Not that many people like coffee to begin with, but you get the idea. It's all about what you can say about yourself.
I hate talking about myself. I really do.
Oh, my favorite colors are black, gray and white, unless you don't consider those colors in which case it's green and you'd be wrong because those are colors.
Oh, I enjoy existentialism.
I'm atheist.
I'm Mexican.
All...seemingly irrelevant to the situation. But they're not.
They're really not.
All the smallest things are important.
Your background, what you like. It's all important.
All of it and we don't realize it. And we just ignore those things. And we shouldn't.
But most of the things we should do, we don't. And that's just how it is.

...