The thing I hate most about being a teenager is not, contrary to popular belief, not knowing. It's never been a question of "who am I?"I know who and how I am. I don't need to go on a metaphorical journey to figure that out. If you don't know who the fuck you are by the time you're 17, then you're not even trying anymore.
It's not relationships either. Or lack of them. I don't feel inadequate because I don't have someone to "claim as my own." I admit that I do get lonely, but who doesn't? Who's never been the one to get an icy stare in a back view mirror?
Nah. The absolute worst part about being a teenager is the feeling that things will always be this way--that people will always be this way. So possessive and manipulative, as if life were a battle for who gets called out a "bitchwh0reslut" the least.
This isn't even misguided misanthropy anymore. This is just an acceptance of how petty everything is. Sure, there's the whole argument about everything being relatively important. To some people, reputation is everything.
But it just kinda defies the purpose, you know? The purpose of living. Living is not measured in how many parties I go to or how many times I get laid in a week. It's not about getting drunk, doing drugs. It's not about reading books and doing homework either.
Life isn't any of those things. And I don't know what conclusion about life I can offer you either. The closer I get to having one, the less sane I become. The less things matter. It bothers me so much how possessive people are.
With class rank, with toys, with grades, with being in everyone's good grace. It bothers me because I can't tell if people who are like are living for others. I wish to think that I know that they are. Who cares what anyone thinks of you?
It also bothers me that the people who say "who cares" are often the worst of them all. Slutwh0rebitchcunt. "Who cares" is not about making others feel like shit. It's not about leading a hedonistic life, asshole. "Who cares" is about...
I don't care. I honestly don't. I loooove when people talk about me behind my back. If I had known such an uproar would've happened I'd have spoken up sooner. It absolutely thrills me to be the talk of the town. And you know why? Because it doesn't even matter! It doesn't even matter, but there you are! Whispering your little voice away! OH MY GAWD SHE DID WHAT? Hahaha! Never feed the troll, bitches.
You make such a big deal about everything. It's so amusing. You won't even see me ever again in your petty little lives, yet there you are... Running your mouth at 100mph. If you could only get a sense of how much I absolutely do not care about you. I would not even feel sorry if you were dead. I'd probably be happy, even. Happy that you could not reproduce and raise a child into stupidity.
But whatever. It's not my place to judge right? Neither is it yours.