No sounds, just black coffee.

There are so many things I do not understand. So many things I do not wish to tell you. That's not what I meant. I meant there are so...many things I cannot say I believe in.
Love, that's the main thing. I don't believe in love. I don't know what the difference between Love and Like is; how am I to believe one is stronger than the other if I don't know where to draw the line? It's just strange fanaticism. I'm a fanatic.
And I need someone. I need someone to like. I need someone to like me back. I need physical comforts. I need it. I need physical contact with someone of the opposite sex. I don't need sex. I just need to touch, need to feel. Need to feel loved? Perhaps I do need to feel loved. Perhaps I do need to relate to someone. I just need that, I need someone, I need you near me.

Coincidence and Fate. I don't believe in either of those things, but I am not a miscreant. I do not know that either of those things exist. I do not pretend to assume that things happen for a reason. I do not pretend to assume that things happen for no predetermined reason. I do not wish to take a side in the matter. I simply don't. And yet society will force me to, by asking but a simple question. And shall I give this answer? Most certainly not, I feel. I shall be stupefied that someone would think--be so careless to affront me so. It is an offense to assume that I have an opinion. It is also normal.

Good and Evil. There are so many shades of gray that all you need is something to search for. Whatever catches your eye, whatever does that, well, I can't say it says anything about you at all. But you either look for the lightest or the darkest tints or the lightest and the darkest shades. You look for the best and the good Good or the lesser and the greater Evil. Odd that sentence should be worded so, it seems to me now, but how else could I have said that? The good and the best Evil? That would assume something that might not be true, that you are evil. Or that you are looking for the lightest shades of black. The grays verging on that solitary white, that impure purity.

Purity, Innocence, etc. Such a drawback, but I understand their purposes. No one, not even children, can this be true of. Knowing about Evil does not make it Evil. It is the fact that it goes against set standards that makes it Evil, not it's precocious knowledge. You can do Evil without knowing you are doing Evil, but you are still doing Evil. A child does know what is wrong, but that doesn't make it right. That is no justification. Not in this world, I find. Society will always punish wrongdoers, no matter their negligence or the severity of their crime. There's always someone to give you that pestering smack on the hand.

I do not ever pretend to know any of these things; I do not pretend to believe that these are true. These are just...thoughts to reflect upon, as is everything else I do.
But I always lose the interest of looking back, no matter how strong the urge is at first.